Ms Shoshana Berger
Editor
Readymade Magazine
PO Box 469172
Escondido California
92046 Dear Shoshana, Thank you for your kind letter extending a special subscription renewal offer. What I would have appreciated more, however, is an actual copy of the magazine. In a truly impressive triumph of marketing over customer service, you sent me the renewal offer before you bothered to send me a single issue. I consider myself a bit of an aficionado of bad customer service, and while this instance doesn’t match the depth of more notable vintages, it has an insulting irony that is quite distinctive. My credit card was billed on December 15, 2004, with the order placed at least 2 weeks prior to that. As of February 15, 2005, I have yet to receive a magazine. As Readymade is a bi-monthly publication, I was willing to accept that I happened to subscribe at an inoportune time in the publication cycle. But receipt of the renewal offer confirmed what I had begun to suspect: that I should have seen an issue by now. Please stop sending me special offers until you can send me a magazine. If you can’t send me an issue within 2 weeks (a back issue, a used copy, something from the staff bathroom, I’d be happy with anything) please reverse the charges on my credit card and remove my name from your marketing mail-out list. Additional back issues, if available, would be a welcome gesture, and might prevent me from finding an alternate use for your renewal offer (hint: it involves wiping).* I look forward to eventually reading your magazine. If I didn’t think it looked like such a great publication, this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. Sincerely, Adam Scott
The Last Angry Young Man
www.angryman.ca
* Note that Readymade is a magazine that highlights other uses for everyday objects. This somewhat excuses the reference to wiping my ass with Shoshana's special offer. See the reply