Blatantly Unprepared Gameshow Contestants

If you can’t swim, don’t go on Survivor. If you’re afraid of spiders, stay off of Fear Factor. If you’re an idiot, don’t fake your way onto Jeopardy. You’re just embarrassing yourself and taking the opportunity away from more worthy contestants. My old university roommate could list to-the-penny prices of Rice-a-Roni for the years 1982 through to 1999 (adjusted to 1999 dollars) then add up the total and know exactly how far it was above or below the price of a Sunbeam four-slice toaster. But he never got his shot at Price is Right glory because some Hawaiian-shirt wearing dude who can’t guess the price of a Chevy Malibu within $10,000 keeps getting the order to ‘come on down.’ Oh the humanity.

Ski Masks Re-Revisited

Here's all the proof I need that the world would be a better place if there were no ski masks. Thanks to Pat McN. for the link

Man robs fudge shop wearing women’s underwear as mask

Ski Masks Revisited

Many of you laughed at me when I put ski masks on the great big list of things that make me angry. Many of you disagreed with my stance that they are a public menace with no redeeming qualities. Many of you thought my campaign to have them renamed “robber masks” was a waste of time. But at least one public official has joined the fight against ski masks (albeit a full year after the campaign began). Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton has proposed stiffer sentences for criminals who wear ski masks when committing crimes. The chief proposes adding two years or 25 percent of the sentence, whichever is more, for wearing a mask. Thanks to Eric for flagging this

Guys Who "Know Karate"

Q: Which demographic group gets their asses kicked more than any other? A: Young males who say they know karate.

While many people deserve to be punched in the face, nobody paints the target on themselves quite so distinctly as these guys. Some of them may in fact know some karate, most of them don't, but it hardly matters. Saying "I know karate" in a bar is the equivalent of saying "I'll be right back" in a horror movie. Bad things are about to happen to you. Next time you open your mouth, pour a drink in it.