Necessary Anger over Unnecessary Words

From Jeremy Clarkson at the Times Online

I’ll leave you with the best example I know of this nonsense. It was a rack of papers in a hotel foyer over which there was a sign: “Newspapers for your reading pleasure”. All they had left was The Guardian. So it wasn’t even technically correct. Full Story

The Last Angry Monkey

From the Columbia Daily Tribune (click for full story)

Keo, a 47-year-old male chimpanzee at Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, paced the floor of his living quarters one afternoon, clearly annoyed with his keepers. In his rolling gait, he would stride up to a glass wall, stop and glare at the humans on the other side. He was supposed to have been at work on his computer at 1:30 p.m., but it was now 1:40, and the door to a small adjoining room with the computer was locked so that he couldn't enter. The chimp's annoyance at being delayed suggests he is keenly
aware of time, even though he can't read a clock, said Steve Ross, the zoo's supervisor of behavioural and cognitive research.

What work does the monkey do on his computer? I don't really know. Why does he have more civilised working hours than me? No idea. But I can totally respect that he gets pissed off when he's ready to work and some human is screwing up his schedule. He's probably stuck waiting for some scientist to finish his coffee and donut. If monkeys can be on time, why not humans?

Things that make me angry: Queen Latifah’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

If during your appearance on Family Feud you are asked to “name someone famous,” do not say “Queen Latifah.” You will get zero points. You might even lose points. How did Latifah get her star? Was it the one meaningful album from 17 years ago that made it to number 6 on the Billboard charts? Or was it her brilliant acting in House Party 2? Maybe Barbershop 2? What about Beauty Shop, the Barbershop 2 spin-off? Maybe the star was bestowed in anticipation of Beauty Shop 2, and her certain brilliance in it.

Angry Elephants

From today's Globe and Mail Social Studies column:

Last week, angry elephants caused a 50-vehicle traffic
jam in Voi, Kenya, after a bus plowed into and killed a bull
calf on one of the nation's busiest highways. Eight elephants
from the herd to which the three-month-old calf belonged surrounded
the bus, making shrieking noises, and attempted to charge it,
says The Daily Telegraph. Kenya Wildlife Service wardens were
called to the scene and managed to disperse the animals by shooting
rifles into the air.

Hey Gillette!

Screw you and the Mach 3 Turbo Nitro Power Sensor Exel you rode in on. I'm sick of paying your absurd prices, so I'm growing a winter beard... every year! And every time you introduce a stupid new model, I'm adding one week per year of beardedness.

Help send a message to Gillette. Email photos of you with facial hair and your middle finger raised to beardo@angryman.ca Pictures will be posted online.

Anger in the News: Captive Passengers Sue Airline

BERLIN (Reuters) - Six German airline passengers who said they were being held against their will on an aircraft stuck on the runway for hours during a snowstorm have filed "false imprisonment" charges, German police said Saturday... Full Story