Monkey Chow Diaries: Day 4
The Day 4 video is now posted.
I want to take a minute to answer some questions or clear up some issues that people have raised.
I want to take a minute to answer some questions or clear up some issues that people have raised.
- I have started soaking the chow in water, as suggested by some people. Apparently this is something zoos do for old monkeys who can't eat hard chow, so i think it falls within the spirit of my experiment.
- Someone also suggested microwaving the chow in a damp paper towel. I might try this afterwards just for kicks, but I think it counts as "cooking" which is one of the tasks I want to avoid this week.
- Crushing the chow with a rock was another suggestion. I wouldn't consider that cooking, and it certainly falls within possible monkey behaviour. I'll give it a try.
- No, it is not diet monkey chow. It is monkey chow diet. When monkeys need to lose weight, they are simply given less chow.
- There is no contradiction between fearing the "animal fat" listed in the ingredients yet craving burgers. If a burger was shipped to me from the Southern US in a brown paper bag and then sat on my living room floor for three weeks, I would be afraid of the burger too.
- My poop is soft rather than brick-like. No I will not be taking pictures of it.
- Dan L raised the issue of how much I should be eating. This was the subject of much discussion between me and the guy who goaded me into the experiment (thanks Scooby). Following the product instructions (1 lb of chow per 35 lbs of monkey), I would be eating about 4.5 lbs per day. This would be an absurd amount of food, around 10,000 calories. I'm targetting 1lb per day and even that is tough to stomache.
- Yes, I would like to eat a banana.
13 Comments:
Would you please post the ingredients of the monkey chow?
Monkeys eat bananas as well as other fruits. There isn't any cooking or cleaning of dishes involved but it would violate your "no shopping" goal.
Still. For the sake of sanity I think you could get away with eating a banana or other fruit.
By the way. I'm having BBQ pork ribs for lunch. Nya.
the silverbacks at our zoo don't eat just chow. they are also given fruit and sometimes homemade fruitscicles during the summer, hidden around the grounds for them to "forage." Even when they have to stay indoors, they are given fruit as well.
Maybe you can add an apple per day.
Can you make a good monkey noise when you sign off tommarow. Or atleast a Seacrest esque "Monkey Chow, OUT!"
In terms of adding fruit, dried fruit might be the most in keeping with your ideals. It could be purchased in bulk and would remain edible for lengthy periods.
I would also consider microwaving the wet monkey kibble. While I suppose technically it is "cooking", it is at least speedy and would solve the warm food craving problem.
you rock, Monkey Chow !
do it fot science !
and do it for all the monkeys !
doesn't soaking the chow in water and eating it from a bowl violate the "no dishes" rule?
not that i'm complaining. it's certainly a good idea to do anything that makes those horrid things go down easier.
it's just that as i watched you take your first crunchy bites i immediately thought watering them down would be a good idea, but didn't suggest it because i couldn't think of a way to do it without using dishes.
I believe you may have developed monkey-like math skills...
If the instructions say, "1 lb of chow per 35 lbs of monkey," and the monkey in question weighs 169 lbs, that's 4.8 lbs of food per day. Three meals of 1.6 lbs each. Not 45 lbs of food...?
I feel bad, but you should know that the lack of food has also driven you to the point of hilarity.
The fruit does seem like a pretty good idea. Question, are you staying indoors during this while experiment, or are you carrying out your regular daily life, minus eating habits and such.
Sorry if I missed that somewhere.
Oh, and how do you drink your water? Do you put that in a glass? Dish rule, no?
Anyway, I can't wait to see the update tomorrow!!!
I love this. I happened upon it while talking to, of all things, a nutritionist. Yeah, really! His take: eating it for just a week won't really present any nutritional challenges.
"I'm tired of cooking. I hate scrubbing pots and pans. I've wasted too much time in the checkout line."
dude, that's why i have a girlfriend...
Have you ever watched "Futurama"? I have a feeling you have. If you haven't, you should. If you don't know it, it is a defunct creation of Matt Groening (The Simpsons) about a guy who is cryogenically frozen and unfrozen 1,000 yeas in the future. He eats food from a bag called "Bachelor Chow". Check the link.
http://fry.la-forsaken.org/
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