Christmas Lights
Why do homeowners take their lights down every year? Because they know that they're fucking ugly. If the lights looked good, people would leave them up right? The Ugly Christmas Lights site has some extreme examples of how bad things can get. If for some reason you insist on Christmas lights (baby Jesus sure did love ostentatious displays of unnecessary spending) please follow two simple rules. 1: Consistency of colour and illumination - nothing looks tackier than blue, yellow, green, orange, orange, orange red, pink; and nothing looks more ghetto than one strand of lights that flashes quickly, one that flashes slowly and one that doesn't flash at all. 2: No "icicle lights" - while they can be applauded for generally being uniform in colour, they sure as hell don't look like icicles. They look like a raccoon has gotten at your wiring and created an electrical fire hazard.
1 Comments:
....and when did having Christmas lights become a need to "keep up with the Jones'" I have one strand of lights and a couple of spotlights...THAT'S IT. In my city, there is one house that is affectionately called Christmas HELL. It's a full Nativity scene...and I mean full...it's large and has everything you can think of. Plus, all around it are lights. I'm not sure if Jesus would appreciate a recreation of his birthday with huge cardboard cutouts. I bet you he's like every other guy I know. A simple nod of the head, "happy birthday" and let's move on!
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